Tag Archives: tips

6 Tips for Taking the Perfect Selfie

Selfies are sooooooooo cool!

There is no simpler way to proclaim your inclusion in the contemporary webisphere than to reach out arm, peer wistfully into lens, and hit send.

The possibilities for fun are endless say I, a self-professed Selfie lover.  It’s a form of self-expression that lays waste to ones sense of shame and decorum and, with a click, strengthens the bonds between people. I’m not kidding!

In the digital era where all things social-media seem to do naught but make us aware of how shabby our lives are in comparison to others (look at all the “Likes” so-and-so got for their smiley happy Facebook photo) the Selfie offers an opportunity to make a deeper connection than its superficial nature might suggest.  Simply let go of any notion of being cool (or, heavens, hip!), forgo the need for public approval, and be ever in the moment.

1. Just the Two of You

My Life Without You

Oscar ceremonies aside, Selfies work best when created with no more than one other person in mind.  A private Selfie can work as a wonderful inside joke between friends, lovers, etc.  Emailing or texting a uniquely crafted Selfie to a single recipient is a way of saying, “I am thinking of you and have no problem making a fool of myself to show it.”  Physical distance between friends collapses into an intimate, privately shared, moment. 

2.  Look Bad

Ugly Selfie

You cannot look good in a Selfie. Any attempt to do so will make you look like a douchebag or a slut, all that posing and puckering of lips.  So don’t bother.  Instead, take the opposite approach.  Look as haggard and disheveled as possible.  This will instill in your audience-of-one a sense of joy as they marvel at how awful you look.  It also enables them to feel better about how crappy they are looking at that moment too.  The great Selfie says, “Look at me, I’m just as ordinary as you”, as opposed to “Look at me, these lips were made to suck… never mind.”

3.  Obscure Yourself

Selfie With Fake Fruit

Looking bad is easy to embellish with the help of any at-hand prop.  Plant, doll, plastic cup.  Any of these can be used to ensure you look as ridiculous as possible.  This will also elicit a guaranteed response from viewer to the effect of, “Wow, look how they’re hiding their face with the bowl.  Super cool.”  And it is!

4.  Interact with your Surroundings

Paris Whisper Selfie  Selfie with Little Woman on Shoulder  Selfie With Mannequins

For all the self-aggrandizing ego inflation that the Selfie can engender, you are the least interesting thing about it.  The context within which you place yourself, however, is where the fun really resides.  It’s that sly juxtaposition between you and your surroundings that is the mark of a great Selfie.  DMV line, Grade “C” diner, cancer ward. You get the idea.

Note: NO BATHROOMS!

Bathroom Selfies

Enough said.Bathroom Selfies5.  Take Multiple Versions

Selfie with Wine Glass 1  Selfie with Wine Glass 2  Selfie with Wine Glass 3

Any photographer worth their salt knows that you aren’t likely to get the shot right the first time.  Keep taking pictures until you are totally satisfied.  You’ll be happier with the results, and everyone around you will appreciate watching you perfect your shot.  Yes, they will also shake their heads and “tut-tut” at your insanity, but it will give them a reason to smile despite the doldrums of their equally mundane lives. 

6.  Carpe Selfie

Selfie with Baby Mannequin

Lost at J.C. Penney?  Carpe Selfie.  Bored at work?  Carpe Selfie.  Traffic at a standstill on the 405 again?  Carpe Selfie.

Any moment of life’s banality can be instantly transformed into a Selfie opportunity, thereby infusing it with purpose and wonder.  Remember, though, you’re not in this alone.  Let thoughts of your recipient guide you to lavish every Selfie with love, care, and a sense of joy.

And there you have it, 6 simple steps to celebrate your connection to another human being.  With you as its star, the Selfie becomes a tool for self-realization, profound connection, even art itself.

Eat your heart out, Annie Leibovitz.

______________________

PS – Have you noticed how everything lately is a list?

21 Absolute best wardrobe malfunctions

13 Images that will restore your faith in humanity

18 Everyday things you aren’t doing right

Of note is the seemingly random number of items, as if the collection is so honest the compiler couldn’t round it up to 20, or down to 10.  So wonderfully down to earth that you simply must read.  It isn’t definitive, and that’s its allure.  Or is it just a ploy to get more hits?

Temple Run 2 – How I learned to forgive myself and embrace failure

A while back I wrote a blog piece about the highly (and I mean HIGHLY) successful game Temple Run. Of everything I have written on this site I receive more hits to that article than all the rest combined.  Here I was thinking people were interested in my unique point of view and clever witticisms when in reality all they want are hints, cheats, and tricks to higher scores.  I am duly humbled.

The makers of Temple Run recently issued a sequel to their game.  A new skin on an old skeleton, Temple Run 2 is not much more than a rehash/repeat of its predecessor, albeit with souped-up graphics and a couple of new options.  Don’t get me wrong, though. I love this game.  My addiction to the original having waned, I am flung into the welcoming arms of its descendent at the mere mention of a “Coin Magnet” super power.  Hip hip!

Temple Run Screen Grab

But as I race across a never-ending landscape of mountain paths, crumbling fortresses and diamond mines I take pause.  Why on earth would I spend any amount of time going over the same ground again and again?  I know how it’s going to end, my being impaled on spinning spikes or slamming into a mineshaft beam.  Where is the joy in that?

And yet, I can’t but make a comparison between the endless sprint of Guy Dangerous and my own pursuits.

We all like to think that everything we set our minds to will culminate in a joyous and highly celebrated success story.  Goal firmly in mind, we soldier through thick and thin only to be crowned victorious at the end and applauded by all for our tenacity, perseverance, and dedication.  Yeah, yeah!

Truth is, I find that there is a distinct failure-to-success ratio that shows up when I look back at my many undertakings in life (with the failures far outnumbering the successes).  Be they ever hopeful pursuits in work, art, and certainly love, most of these endeavors have wound up impaled on a proverbial spike, or falling off a cliff, or being swept away in a torrent of water, to use additional Temple Run 2 metaphor.

These failures seemingly make up the bulk of what I do, who I am, and what compels me nonetheless forward.  My life is a systematic accumulation of failures.

If this all sounds a bit dour, fear not.  This is where Temple Run 2 comes back into the argument.  As I mentioned earlier, there is no good outcome to playing this game.  The best you can hope for is running a little further or gathering a few more coins before dying horribly.  And knowing that, what is left is to enjoy the run, and become ever more adept at turning sharp corners or leaping up to grab a precious gem.  And indeed, for all my efforts I have come far.  Just check out my latest high score for proof.

Temple Run High Score

Picking myself up after failures in life has certainly not prevented me from experiencing more.  Any goal pursued with the much-needed gusto to succeed is the very recipe for a spectacular failure.  I find that, in fact, the more pigheaded I am about a goal, the greater the likelihood of it all going awry in the most damning way possible.  As such, one should celebrate ones existence as represented by the magnitude of ones failures.  The greater they are, the more gloriously one must be tackling life itself.  And if that’s not a worthy endeavor, I don’t know what is.

If once I cowered away from failure, now I embrace it.  Ok, that’s a total lie.  However, you have to admit that the sentence doesn’t sound as good when written as, “If once I cowered away from failure, now I mostly just squirm and berate myself for once again making the same mistakes, and when will I ever learn, but oh well what can you do, might as well get on with it, maybe next time will be different, yeah right.”

But I do keep running.