6 Tips for Taking the Perfect Selfie

Selfies are sooooooooo cool!

There is no simpler way to proclaim your inclusion in the contemporary webisphere than to reach out arm, peer wistfully into lens, and hit send.

The possibilities for fun are endless say I, a self-professed Selfie lover.  It’s a form of self-expression that lays waste to ones sense of shame and decorum and, with a click, strengthens the bonds between people. I’m not kidding!

In the digital era where all things social-media seem to do naught but make us aware of how shabby our lives are in comparison to others (look at all the “Likes” so-and-so got for their smiley happy Facebook photo) the Selfie offers an opportunity to make a deeper connection than its superficial nature might suggest.  Simply let go of any notion of being cool (or, heavens, hip!), forgo the need for public approval, and be ever in the moment.

1. Just the Two of You

My Life Without You

Oscar ceremonies aside, Selfies work best when created with no more than one other person in mind.  A private Selfie can work as a wonderful inside joke between friends, lovers, etc.  Emailing or texting a uniquely crafted Selfie to a single recipient is a way of saying, “I am thinking of you and have no problem making a fool of myself to show it.”  Physical distance between friends collapses into an intimate, privately shared, moment. 

2.  Look Bad

Ugly Selfie

You cannot look good in a Selfie. Any attempt to do so will make you look like a douchebag or a slut, all that posing and puckering of lips.  So don’t bother.  Instead, take the opposite approach.  Look as haggard and disheveled as possible.  This will instill in your audience-of-one a sense of joy as they marvel at how awful you look.  It also enables them to feel better about how crappy they are looking at that moment too.  The great Selfie says, “Look at me, I’m just as ordinary as you”, as opposed to “Look at me, these lips were made to suck… never mind.”

3.  Obscure Yourself

Selfie With Fake Fruit

Looking bad is easy to embellish with the help of any at-hand prop.  Plant, doll, plastic cup.  Any of these can be used to ensure you look as ridiculous as possible.  This will also elicit a guaranteed response from viewer to the effect of, “Wow, look how they’re hiding their face with the bowl.  Super cool.”  And it is!

4.  Interact with your Surroundings

Paris Whisper Selfie  Selfie with Little Woman on Shoulder  Selfie With Mannequins

For all the self-aggrandizing ego inflation that the Selfie can engender, you are the least interesting thing about it.  The context within which you place yourself, however, is where the fun really resides.  It’s that sly juxtaposition between you and your surroundings that is the mark of a great Selfie.  DMV line, Grade “C” diner, cancer ward. You get the idea.

Note: NO BATHROOMS!

Bathroom Selfies

Enough said.Bathroom Selfies5.  Take Multiple Versions

Selfie with Wine Glass 1  Selfie with Wine Glass 2  Selfie with Wine Glass 3

Any photographer worth their salt knows that you aren’t likely to get the shot right the first time.  Keep taking pictures until you are totally satisfied.  You’ll be happier with the results, and everyone around you will appreciate watching you perfect your shot.  Yes, they will also shake their heads and “tut-tut” at your insanity, but it will give them a reason to smile despite the doldrums of their equally mundane lives. 

6.  Carpe Selfie

Selfie with Baby Mannequin

Lost at J.C. Penney?  Carpe Selfie.  Bored at work?  Carpe Selfie.  Traffic at a standstill on the 405 again?  Carpe Selfie.

Any moment of life’s banality can be instantly transformed into a Selfie opportunity, thereby infusing it with purpose and wonder.  Remember, though, you’re not in this alone.  Let thoughts of your recipient guide you to lavish every Selfie with love, care, and a sense of joy.

And there you have it, 6 simple steps to celebrate your connection to another human being.  With you as its star, the Selfie becomes a tool for self-realization, profound connection, even art itself.

Eat your heart out, Annie Leibovitz.

______________________

PS – Have you noticed how everything lately is a list?

21 Absolute best wardrobe malfunctions

13 Images that will restore your faith in humanity

18 Everyday things you aren’t doing right

Of note is the seemingly random number of items, as if the collection is so honest the compiler couldn’t round it up to 20, or down to 10.  So wonderfully down to earth that you simply must read.  It isn’t definitive, and that’s its allure.  Or is it just a ploy to get more hits?

9 thoughts on “6 Tips for Taking the Perfect Selfie

    1. Mischa Post author

      Hmmm. I think it might actually be a great idea to include a mirror, especially if you can show something unexpected in it. :-)

      Reply
  1. Heather Brown

    People’s selfies make me want to chew my arm off. Except for yours and J’s, of course. I would rather send off pictures of my boyfriend’s junk in “multiple versions.” Oh wait, I think I have done that 😉

    Reply
  2. Russell Burt

    Hideous shots! You really look disheveled and homely. Well done!

    Question: When I go to Ireland this summer, should I take lots of selfies there? Is foreign travel ripe for selfiness, or is it passe across the pond?

    BTW, the lists of questions you refer to are definitely created to increase click throughs. Clever marketing by appealing to base human curiosity. Kinda like Cosmo sex quizzes.

    Reply
    1. Mischa Post author

      Travel is a smorgasbord of Selfie opportunity so embrace being a tourist, especially an American one. Your Travel Selfie gives you added cache, and the locals will appreciate you taking an obnoxious Selfie in front of their tourist traps as opposed to peeing on them or other ways of declaring, “I was here!”

      Reply
  3. Chris McKee

    I think this is my favorite of your blogs yet. Incisive without gripes, concise; lots of clear, hilarious examples; and ultimately life-affirming.

    : )c

    Reply

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